I had an encounter the other day that I can only describe as spiritual. The young lady I was assisting simply felt moved to tell me something I didn't necessarily want to know.
The young lady is 25,works as a home health nurse, has recently moved out of her parents' very traditional household and has (finally) begun college. She was writing an essay for one of her classes and needed help with sentence structure. I didn't mind helping, its what I do, help.
My laptop isn't working so I was at my aunt's using hers and my brothers showed up. I think they came just to harass me. They don't think I should be going to school. They think I should be looking for a husband, not going to college. I was so distracted that I know this essay makes no sense, can you help me?
I was intrigued. How does a person, still young, still vulnerable, living in a traditional, Jamaican household, where men sit around waiting for the women to "do" for them manage to muster the strength to walk toward the light?
Why did you move out?
I moved out because if I didn't, I was going to kill myself, and I didn't want to die.
Can't argue with that logic.
My mother thinks I"m crazy. When I moved out of the house, she damned me to hell. Daddy said I'd be raped by some stalker knowing I was alone out there. He said no man would want me because I was not living correctly.
Wow.
When I told my parents I was starting college, they laughed at me. My mother said she would not help pay for it. I'm ok with that, I can pay for the classes myself. I can do this. I must do this. If I don't, I will die. I know I have more to give than my body to a man. I have a mind, and I want to share it.
I'm sitting at my computer in tears. I read her words and I wonder what moment pushed her forward. I know a few things about her that I'd already found fascinating. She was sickly as an infant and was never expected to walk. She's a virgin and has no problem letting men know that she intends to stay that way until her wedding night. She love psychology and thinks, maybe, she'd like to go to medical school and become a psychiatrist. She loves her family, she just can't live with them anymore.
Its been so long since I've been to school, I know my writing is terrible.
No, it isn't, just a little muddled. We can fix this.
Thank you. I need this essay to speak about who I was, who I now am and who I want to become. I want my instructor to understand the reason why I am in college. I want her to know the reason why I exist.
Yeah, don't we all. God's speed on your journey girl, God's most precious blessings to you.
If you were busy doing something constructive last night and missed it (like I did), just pop into any chat room, check any message board, or even hit your remote and check the idiot box, and there it is... all the highs and lows, the complaints, the criticisms, the commentary, the jokes.
I always ask people this question when the topic of some show on BET comes up...
folk still watch BET? Why?
Seriously, why? On any given day, you can turn on and either some half dressed woman is shaking her ass in the face of the camera and/or some money flashing man, or some vain attempt at social commentary is being put forth, or they're showing reruns of shows from the archives of "we sho is funny ain't we?"
Bafoonery went out with bell bottoms ladies and gentlemen. If making this statement makes me elitist and uppity and I have "forgotten where I come from", fine; at this point, I don't think I care. As I sat in the chat room and read the comments, it occurred to me that noone is mentioning who won what award. Humanitarian awards, Community awards? Sports Awards" Hello? All anyone was talking about was "Alecia Keys' man taking, pregnant behind", "Chris Brown's wannabe comback", P Diddy being too old to be juking, and Prince looking better than all the women in the joint.
Scary ish people, scary ish.
I guess (again) Bill Cosby was right... some of us just aren't ready for prime time....
if the only thing that is important enough to talk about on a Monday morning, after a G8 meeting, and the continued oil spill in the Gulf and our children dying in the streets because of gun violence, or disease in our community or corruption in government is the fact the Chris Brown cried.... then we have reached rock bottom. Our collective pain is so intense we need the drug of mindless entertainment ... without even seeing the small community value even put into that, then, just damn.
A former classmate of mine commented on this on Facebook last night; we're of like mind. Why DO people continue to support the superficial "cultural" format of BET? It seems like every program there and even on other stations that involve blacks "being themselves" equates to clowns on crack for all those who give a damn. And when the show fails, the immediate response is: RACISM.
Ummmm, no, not racism darling... SOME of us aren't interested in your insanity for profit game anymore. We've risen above the notion that everything is a joke... and we're supposed to laugh ALL the time. Some of us aren't in THAT much pain that we must soothe it with bamboozlement.
Ok, I quit. I'm tired. Enough of the bashing of the "lower mentalities". Going to read something with big words in it now.
Have a good one.
I saved my Father's Day thoughts for the day after for a reason... I wanted to hear what people had to say about the day, and see how it was celebrated.
I took hubby out to brunch at the same restuarant we visited last month for Mother's Day. On Mother's Day the joint was packed, children ran around and there were balloons and bags full of gifts for mothers and grandmothers everywhere. We arrived an hour into the brunch session and there were only 2 tables occupied. The jazz singer was warming up and the grill man was staring out of the window with a bored look on his face.
We enjoyed ourselves, ate quietly and slowly, there was no rush. About 15 minutes before we left, couples began to come in, a couple of families, a few groups of men together. No small children, no balloons, no small bags of gifts. Father's Day is just not the same as Mother's Day, is it?
Later in the day, I encountered a few single mothers out with their kids. They were being feted by the children, celebrating Father's Day with not a man in sight. I'd forgotten how single mothers have taken it upon themselves to co-op this holiday. I don't like it.
Ok, listen carefully. I don't give a hot damn if your man, baby daddy, sperm donor, one night stand is/was a moron, dog, bastard, mofo, asshole; the third Sunday in June is FATHER'S DAY... not "SINGLE MOTHER DOING FATHER'S JOB DAY". I don't think you fully appreciate what message you send to your child by not allowing them to reflect, visit, talk to, acknowledge the man that is responsible for them being here. So what if you're d doing all the work, we do all the work anyway, if you had a man, you'd know this. Its disrepectful to the father, damaging to the child and makes you look like an ass to celebrate Father's Day as if YOU"RE the father of your child. Stop it.
I am so blessed as to have had my father in my life. I am equally blessed to have the father of my children an integral part of their lives. I wouldn't have it any other way. Even though our children are now grown (sorta), they still make sure Daddy knows he's loved and appreciated. Every father needs that, even if he thinks he doesn't.
I just needed to say that. I'm ok now. You may now return to your regularly scheduled life.
thing 1:
thing 2:
(Now, here's an example of not participating in life for ya...)
Ok, I'm upset. Apparently "mah people" wanna cry foul AGAIN... instead of taking responsiblity for actions. Short synopsis for you:
Some teens jaywalk across a street in Seattle. A cop sees them, and calls them over to his squad car. I don't know what he said to the two ladies,(probably was gonna give them a ticket, maybe) but one of them became upset, very upset, and proceeded to get in the cops face. Well, let's let the video pick the scene up from there, shall we?
make note that when the cop hits the girl, everyone who hasn't been videotaping now is... why isn't anyone telling the girls to cooperate (the one friend is trying, but he's not being heard)
why isn't anyone trying to pull the girls off the cop (afterall, he's trying not to fight them, he's only trying to cuff the loud one)
and (behaviorist's observation here) the reaction of the handcuffed girl at the very end is so telling... she screams out... she didn't get away with it, and she's angry... not with the cop (it was never about the cop) but with herself... for getting caught and losing control of herself.
This sort of thing happens in schools across the country all the time. A simple request by an authority figure is made, and the child goes nuts. Why have we taught our children to defy authority no matter what? I read some comments on this video that shocked me.
even if they did cooperate, he would have hit one of them, I bet.
the police are always messing with people, they didn't do anything wrong.
her cousin should have hit him back.
When will we stop playing victim?
Now, understand me, I don't condone the cop hitting the girl, but she kinda put herself in front of his fist, while trying to help her cousin; and this, after the other friend has pulled her back out of the way a couple of times.
I'm sorry, I can't support the behavior of mah people on this one. It was just jaywalking. Take the damned ticket and go home, geez.
I keep forgetting there are a lot of Japanese people in the north suburbs. I wonder who they all work for actually. Anyway... sitting in Todai with hubby, son and adopted son, I noticed something. Japanese Americans work really hard to remain Japanese. Not that this is a bad thing; I think its beautiful, I love the way older women sit and talk quietly while eating and how the children are mannerable, and how the teens express their rebellion against the establishment by dressing like white kids (the really rebellious ones were goth or hip hop, that was cute).
For a restaurant at the height of the rush, the joint was quiet. There was a baseball game on the flat screen, and the older men watched and commented. My boys sat practicing their Japanese on each other (I think they were insulting me there at one point) and hubby made sure I enjoyed my meal (I'm the lone person in our household that doesn't fall all over herself concerning all things Japanese). It was a nice meal.
We stopped at the other Japanese place that I do love, Mitsuwa Marketplace: a Japanese grocery store with a mini mall attached to it. Bookstores, travel agencies, liquor store, import shop, etc. I DO love that place. I bought some sardines and tea. Gotta have tea. Oh yeah, there was a Teavana store at Woodfield! Paradise man!!
What a lovely way to start summer vacation. Thank you boys for taking me out, even if the traffic was hell getting home!
Ok, problem number one: this is NOT a national story. Not acceptable.
Problem number two: At the local level, its being buried (according to my sources)
At what point do we as a people, a nation, as human beings make it PERFECTLY clear that its not acceptable to behave this way? How do we get the people who think its ok to behave this way understand that No Bubba, you can't drag people around (regardless of race) cus it gives you pleasure and then think you will get away with it.
I'm tired... read this ish people... Black Man Dragged Ten Miles Behind Vehicle
More as it develops...
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